I don’t know what I’m doing with my life anymore. Now that season three of How To Get Away With Murder is over, I just don’t know what to do with myself. I suppose I could do some homework, maybe study for a test or two, write a little more of book two. But it all feels so meaningless now.
HTGAWM is maybe my favorite show on television. For an hour every Thursday, I put my phone down and lean back on my couch, clutching a pillow to my chest and muffling all my unearthly sequels. And then I’ll spend the rest of the week rambling to whoever will tolerate me about the drama and holy shit what suspense and what’s happening next and who’s in danger and why is it not Thursday already?
I was in the middle of a jog (because I hate myself enough to try to be healthy) when I stopped in my tracks, still shook from the end of the penultimate episode.
Just as a warning, this will not be the only HTGAWM article I will write. There’s so much to talk about, so many characters that I’ve pseudo adopted (much like Annalise). There’s so many beautiful things in the show, so many incredible moments that make you admire the writers who pour life into these incredible characters. This show is my #storytellingporn. The stuff that makes me want to be a better writer, the stuff that inspires me to sit down and write something half as good as this year’s midseason finale.
Today, to keep myself in control, I’m just going to be focusing on the season three finale that aired last night and how I feel about it (and I have A Lot of Feelings) and then also maybe where I think season four will take us. Please be prepared for spoilers and rambling streams of consciousness.
A quick recap on my emotions towards each character and everything I yelled at them through the screen last night:
Frank. I am over Frank. I was over Frank in season one, and then season two gave me a million reasons to hate him even more. I like that he’s been trying to take the bullet for Annalise, but I actually wanted him to go to jail because he is an actual murderer. But no. My mom loves him so I have to listen to her coo about Frank, meanwhile I was literally begging Annalise to slap him, just once for all the shit he’s pulled. He’s definitely right when he says it should have been him, not Wes.
Bonnie. Bonnie is a terrible lawyer. I don’t mind Bonnie that much as a character and I didn’t want her to be the one that died, but man, she just can’t win. She tries so hard to be like Annalise but just fails every. Single. Time. It’s like watching a kid walk in their parents shoes. She just can’t pull it off. Here’s to hoping she gets a little better at manipulating people in season four.
I don’t know when it happened, but somehow, Asher has become the greatest character on the show. Through season one I was ambivalent; he was the worst of the Keating Five and didn’t even know anything about the murder stuff so he was boring. In season two I even grew to dislike him after the whole Emily Sinclair nonsense, and at the beginning of this season I was prepared to let him go if it meant sparing my other faves from the Sheet of Death. Now he’s the highlight of Thursday nights. He’s so lovable and goofy and in the midst of murder and drama, he’s a silver lining of comedy. Asher’s highlights from last night (aside from every time he was on the screen): admitted he would sleep with an old person for money, “With the state of my bank account currently”; ate Cheetos very loudly after Oliver’s heartbreaking plea for everyone to help him find Connor; made Laurel literally throw up because he was eating pizza so grossly; told Michaela he loved her like fifteen times; “Maybe you’ll love me if I have abs”; that little face he made when Michaela said she loved him too. Here’s to more of Asher in season four, being the lighthearted breath of fresh air this show really needs.
On the subject of Michaela. I’ve loved this girl since season one. She’s ambitious, hard-working, and can get shit done. Everyone always speculated which of the kids is most like Annalise and I think Michaela is definitely a carbon copy of Annalise’s no-nonsense, I-can-destroy-you-with-a-single-sentence attitude. I love her and Connor and their amazing friendship and watching her support him throughout the episode was amazing. I feel like we got to see Michaela’s vulnerable side in the finale and that’s something that doesn’t happen a lot. Seeing her and Laurel talk about boys in the bathroom was painfully cute and her entire reaction to Asher’s confession was amazing, from “I think Laurel is calling me” to finally responding in kind confidently in a women’s restroom in a bar in New York City with an amazed look on her face. I really enjoyed seeing Michaela take charge this season (She stepped up to the plate more than Bonnie, tbh) but next season I hope she gets a break and explore her relationship with Asher a little better.
Laurel. Oh, dear sweet Laurel. She has been a hot mess since Wes’s death, and I understand you’re grieving and I love you so much, but seriously, you need to calm the heck down. My issue with Laurel lately is that she acts like Wes’s death was her tragedy and hers alone. This episode was chock full of Laurel yelling at people who are just trying to help and making bad decisions. She was planning to straight up murder Charles Mahoney on the hunch that his family had something to do with Wes’s death. I know you’re in pain, but that doesn’t mean you get to do really dumb things like send your friends to go flirt with creepy rapists and then pull a gun out in the middle of a bar. Also telling Connor to kill himself was not cool. You didn’t know about the whole bus thing, but still, not cool. Wes was his friend too, and you were also in the house and did not save Wes, so please, chill out and stop attacking the people you care about. Hopefully season four Laurel will take a deep breath, stop being a trainwreck, and quit hurting the people around her so that maybe she can mourn properly with her friends. (Unfortunately I don’t think this will happen, and dear Lord I hope everyone clears a path when she finds out that her father killed Wes.)
Annalise has been killing me ever since the mid season finale. She has been through so much. She lost Wes, she got sent to jail, her mom has Alzheimer’s, her house burnt down, she literally got punched in the face a few times. She has been through the wringer, and it was uplifting to see her kick back into battle gear. Trying to help Bonnie do her job better, meeting with Mrs. Mahoney, preparing her case to straight up destroy DA Denvers. But those last moments with her at her support group was especially moving. She was painfully honest for once, confronted her feelings, and I’m relieved to see that she’s finally going to put effort into healing. Viola Davis always stuns me with the power of her acting and the way she can convey Annalise’s pain. While I love watching Annalise destroy people in and out of the courtroom, I hope next season she gets to take a step back and start to piece herself back together a little bit. It’s been a rough year and I think she deserves a break.
Oliver. Hampton. My poor dear child. He’s finally a part of the Murder Club TM. I loved Oliver in this episode. He may be new to the club, but he’s become confident enough to push and shove everyone else around enough. He and Michaela yelling at everyone to freaking stop blaming Connor made my week. This is Oliver’s first finale as a knowing member of Team Murder and he stepped up to the plate. From kitty porn to proposing to Connor, Oliver went through a journey last night. He’s spent so long wanting to know all of the gang’s secrets and inside jokes, and in the last few episodes, we’ve seen him realize what deep shit he’s gotten into, but I think last night he realized just how serious and dangerous their situation is. His concern for Connor throughout the episode was pure and adorable, and I can only hope he holds onto that adorableness throughout season four.
And finally, Connor. I don’t know where to begin. Connor has been my favorite of the bunch for a long while, because he’s one of those characters that are so goddamn tragic. I’ll probably dedicate an article to him one of these days, but in this finale he just got walloped. I spent most of last night shouting at him and crying about him. For starters, what the heck was that opening scene? What the hell did he think he was doing almost stepping in front of that bus like that? Does he know how freaking worried I was? “What do you know?” I screamed at the screen a total of fifteen times during the first twenty minutes of last night. This is the thing about Connor, he acts like he doesn’t care about anything, but secretly cares a lot, and after three seasons of blaming Wes for everything and calling him Wait List and being his usual “I’m too cool for this” self, seeing him try and fail to resuscitate Wes was killer. And then thinking he was to blame. It put a whole new perspective on his adamant declaration that it was Annalise. He just wanted to believe it wasn’t his fault and it wasn’t. Connor is the type of character that has so many emotions but shares about two so I loved, loved seeing him stop being so cold faced and being genuine with everyone for once. Finally protesting that Wes was his friend, calling Annalise out for trying to replace Wes with him, literally crying for once instead of just letting everything fester. And then the unwavering loyalty to the cause suddenly. Throwing himself out there to go on the stand and potentially be incriminated, going to Denvers to tell him what happened, knowing it would put him at risk, Connor felt so damn guilty for no damn reason and it pained me so much to see him try to make amends. He was starved and locked in a bunker for over a day and still refused to turn on Annalise. I think it’s high time Connor got a freaking break. I hope in season four he goes somewhere warm with Oliver and turns off his cell phone.
Also just a quick note about Connor and Oliver. I let out an unearthly howl when Oliver proposed. After such a stressful episode for my two favorite dudes, seeing them together again and then having Oliver. Propose. I may have exploded just a little. I expect full scale wedding mode for season four since aside from Laurel’s dick of a dad, there’s not much more murder plot. How to Get Away With Planning a Wedding. Michaela is best man, obviously. Asher makes dumb comments about flowers and rings and stuff but then gets drunk and proposes to Michaela at the rehearsal dinner. Laurel calms the heck down and takes up floral design or something to help them out.
If anyone has Shonda Rhimes contact info please let me know because I have ideas and feelings and I will consider writing for season four. I don’t have anything to do know that speculating about my favorite show is over so I could easily fit that in my schedule. Or I could rewatch the whole show from the beginning…